His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
