The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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