Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
this hospital has no fireball
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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