4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize