week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
