either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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