hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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