My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
