Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
