I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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