i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?