I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.