He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.