3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
