i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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