isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
