Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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