Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize