If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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