hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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