so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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