why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Terrible idea I love it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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