that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
