So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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