Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
