I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His nipple licking is glorious
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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