can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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