Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
