If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
