they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
