If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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