STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
