Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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