im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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