Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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