I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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