worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
