Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
