you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize