people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
