hell yes lets make some ravioli
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
