O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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