8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
