I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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