we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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