Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
