That's when you crack a 10am beer
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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