You really coming over, don't trick.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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