Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
