I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize