If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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