and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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