My hair reeks of homosexuality.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
