is your mom at the bar?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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