i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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