take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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