so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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