dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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