i just google imaged poop.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize